Single to Supported, the dance of a lifetime..

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Very often being a black woman or a single mother in today’s society comes with the need to be assertive and acerbic. It requires a waltz delicate, deliberate, and dichotomous containing the necessary elements of strength and femininity. She always dazzles and amazes as she coruscates across a dance floor of oppressive-culture never losing her balance. She’s a master of the stage and show. A gifted dancer with more grace than Kelly herself. Mesmerizing is her solo performance of art and life…….And then a suitor ask for the next dance. She obliges. Suddenly the movements of the lithe Queen appear to be waggish as a court jester. She finds herself lacking the indispensable skill of “following the lead”.

It is in the heat of the tango, because it takes 2, that she recognizes the strength necessary to acquiesce to another. Due to her novice understanding, in the beginning she may appear subservient or overly-submissive, as she struggles to locates the tempo of his beat. There will be missteps as she rides the rhythm syncing her to her mate.

The consistency of his pace makes it easy for her to become receptive to his spins and dips. Her gravity lightens as she releases the emotional boulders built of narratives, social norms, and black woman rhetoric. She learns the joy of closing her eyes as the music plays. She breathes his genuine embrace as she opens her heart to infinite possibilities of togetherness. She unequivocally trust his direction. It’s as sweet and special as a young daughter learning to dance on the feet of a loving father. Continuing to dance he holds her hand exuding a magnanimous yet virile energy. The sincerity in his speech never waivers as they lose themselves conversing through songs a plenty. Tempos and lyrics change like seasons as they dance, yet their steps stay as synchronous as a marching band or naval cadets.

As she tires, from carrying the weight of her own “black girl” matter but never of her mate, her steps slow and her spirit tarries. Astonishingly they still move as one, allowing the off-beats of the music to be their unified heartbeat. Steady and strong is the powerful voice of their kismet energy. It’s during the mindfulness of this moment that the lyrics of her soul sings softly with the beat of her heart. She intuitively ascertains the salient lesson crafted only for her. An ethereal energy whispers “from single to supported”. Repeatedly she hears “single to supported”. The words pierce the last layer of emotional defense surrounding the gift of vulnerability.

For the diligent skeptic, and cynical romantic, “single to supported” has been an incertitude worthy of aversion. However, here in one of the most important dances of her life she now understands the joy in security. She revels in the freedom of submission. She believes in the power of love more than Vandross himself. She appreciates her King. She reciprocates his love without fear, a boldly walks with him into the uncertain. Remembering her past solo performances allow her the beautiful insight necessary to celebrate her future. This King and Queen build an extraordinary dynasty changing only their music and never their mate.

My truth is I feared support until I realized it’s blessing.

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